This picture was a recurring nightmare I had for a long time as a child.

I would dream people were throwing tomatoes at me and wake up screaming.

Where my dream interpreters at?

Analyze me.

FEAR will NO LONGER be an option in my life.  Believe it!

F - Frustration
E - Ego
A - Anxiety
R - Resentment


F - Face
E - Everything
A - And
R - Recover


F - False
E - Evidence
A - Appearing
R - Real


F - Finding
E - Excuses
A - And
R - Reasons


F - Frantic
E - Effort to
A - Avoid
R - Reality

I know for sure that if ever I get divorced, Mr. HB and I will work together to keep things stable for the boys. 

I've known this since Day 1.  I admire Will and Jada for their stance on this.

I'm LOVING this letter from Uncle Russey to Kimora.....let's hope this catches on.  Baby Daddies, come on, come on!

Dear bill collectors, recession, swine flu, bad news, negativity, bad mood, racism, and everything else that can ruin a day,

YOU AIN'T GON WORRY ME TODAY, got it?

Mwabi is 33 today and is celebrating!!!!!

I've had the pleasure of being around wonderful kids lately. 

I really do enjoy working in elementary schools.

Being a teacher never crossed my mind in the past cause my Mom has been one since before I was born and I just assumed it was her thing.  Now, I'm truly considering it.  I enjoy kindergarten!!!!

I've also worked with special Ed kids.  Behavioral kids and kids with real needs are grouped together.  The kids with real needs are so wonderful to work with, they are so sweet.



I almost cried when one kid, J earned some treats out of the treasure box.  He picked a toy motorcycle and 2 pieces of candy.  He turned to me and said, "this is for you and your son."  I had just introduced him to one of my boys.  Man!!!! Can you say SINCERE?  The kindest, most honest hearts ever.

I have noticed that in each class, a "regular" kid will take on the role of a kid with special needs care taker.  I go in as a sub and so won't always know what needs to be done.  In class after class, an angel will appear.  They know the kid's schedule to the minute.  One girl, no 2 kids so far, I've seen them stop their work and do activities with the kid with special needs.  I've seen hugs and genuine care.  No one asks them to do this, they just love doing it!

I love seeing this.  It shows me what kind of human being they will grow up to be. 

I haven't really seen any teasing or straight evilness directed to these kids and it gives me hope.

I heard not too long ago on the news how parents complained about a children show's host in the UK whose missing an arm?, can't remember all the details but parents went crazy calling in and demanding she be taken off the air so she didn't scare their kids.  I bet you none of the kids were scared!  It always goes back to parent's projecting their fear  on their kids.

Kids are curious.  There is a beautiful kid at my son's school with no arms and no legs.  She was even in one my boy's class one year.  None of the kids have ever stopped and stared.  They ask her name, ask if she needs help, and keep it moving.  I've watched her grow and she is so independent.  Just a beautiful gem.

Kids are here to teach us, I know this for sure.

I bought a gang of books back in February and I've been a reading fool since....take a looksee



I couldn't WAIT to read Something Like Beautiful by one of my favorite authors ever, Asha Bandele.  She didn't disappoint.  I will read it again and again.  Asha's writing is so heart felt.  Mothering is something special and her baby girl Nisa has taught her so much.  I'm holding out for a happy ending...one day, true freedom will find them.

I finally read Alek Wek's memoir and wow, she is so humble.  I love that even now after all the fame, she is still so down to earth.  Did you know that she had a terrible skin condition most of her life.  She got the lesson early, innner beauty is vital! She was called ugly and made fun of for a very long time.  She most definately doesn't rely on pretty.

A read the book jacket of A Piece of Cake a while back and mentally added it to my list.  Whoa.  Cupcake Brown has had quite a life!  This is yet another awful story of foster care gone bad.  Think Antoine Fisher.  Right now things aren't looking good for black women as foster mothers, damn!  Can we get one success story?  The problem is that most people are in it for the money and well why wouldn't they be when it is advertised this way?  If I wasn't married to an ogre I so would be a foster mom, a good foster mom!  Anywho, Cupcake ends up in foster care after her mother dies and her life goes downhill, prostitution, drugs, steling, gangs, you name it.  But she gets her life together and becomes a lawyer.  Go girl!  She writes as she talks, it was a fun read.  Reminded me of Tam.  Unfortunately the book came out right after James Frey fiasco so some questioned if her life was real.....um, we's black, we ain't got time to make up sob stories, we live it! And she had a lot of people to back her up.

I met Rebecca Walker at a women's conference I used to be involved in and she was real cool.  This was back when her first memoir came out.  I heard she had a second memoir, Baby Love and made a mental note to get it.  Then all hell broke loose with her mama.  It was a good book, a lil sad but good.  It is pretty much written in a journal style from the day she finds out she is pregnant till after she gives birth to her Tenzin.

I also got the book she edited, One Big Happy Family cause Asha is in it.  It is a book of essays on different kinds of families.

An advantage on working for one of the larges book sellers is that gems come across your path that you would have never heard of.  In this case it was Space Between the Stars by Deborah Santana.  Another memoir, I know.  I loved this book.  Her quiet power reminds me so much of myself.  At the time of the writing she was Carlos Santana's wife, they have since divorced.  She is working on a second memoir.  I was highly annoyed by the cheating in the book and the excuses, seriously, is boning that important? I'll never get it!

I've loved Edwidge Dandicat forever.  I love that she writes about culture in such a personal way.  I've been meaning to pick up Brother, I'm Dying and finally did.  I'm reading it now and taking my time.  I want to savor each word.

I came across I Was Told They'd Be Cake by Sloan Crosley and heard all these good reviews.  I am working on a book of essays and wanted to see what was out there.  Haven't read this one yet.

7 books from end of Feb till mid April...not bad.

Lately the boys have been saying, "I'm going to take your happiness" as they wrestle and play with each other.

I don't know where they heard this but it has me thinking.

So many people thrive off of taking away other's happiness.  For what?  Just so they can feel better about themselves.

I encouraged my boys to give happiness and never take away someone's happiness.  It is not worth the trouble.

Another running theme lately is forgiveness. 

I caught a showing of Sex and the City movie the other night and a scene that really seeped into my noggin was the one when Miranda stalks Carrie after their fight at Valentine's Day dinner...Miranda is waiting for Carrie outside her apartment in a cab.  When Carrie gets in, Miranda apologizes again and Carrie says, "You're asking me to do in 3 days what you haven't done in 6 months!"  Carrie is referring to the situation with Steve.  He cheated and begged for forgiveness and Miranda would hear no parts of it.  Miranda says, "They're not the same thing" and Carrie says the best line ever....she says, "IT'S FORGIVENESS."

I really got that the other night.  Situations are different but forgiveness is forgiveness.  Love is love.  Happiness is happiness.

Something is happening lately, I'm being spoken to and it feels good to be listening and receiving the lesson.

Peace to you.

See the chick above? Well add some melanin and locs to the equation and you've got me these days.

I'm subbing, working on my book and just launched this new website.

And being Wifey and Mama and building my African PR agency.

I'm slipping on the daily blogging, remember when I always had something to say?

Stay tuned folks...this African girl is on the come up.

My cousin just sent me a picture she had of me and my siblings from back in the day.  This had to be the mid 80's.  I love it and I'm loving my pose.  It cracks me up cause my niece poses this same way and she is so the business!!!!

I also love how confident I look.  This put me in such a good mood.  I love my family.

So can you spot moi?

I'm in my favorite bookstore with a pile of magazines, and books, sitting in my comfy chair with Goapele on my itouch, blackberry near by, just enjoying my Friday and going out of my way to ignore the fears in my head. 

Straight chillaxing.

2 and a half hours later and I'm on my way out the door praying that I don't get shot at since just yesterday someone was gunned down in this very parking lot *sigh* when SCHREECH I see this displayed right at the front of the store:



Wait a minute. What is this?

You can't blame these folks for seeing how successful Elizabeth Gilbert's book was and give you the male side.  The title says it all, huh?  I just wish they would have let us have something just for us women..oh well.  Eat, Pray, Love was such a wonderful read for me and it kinda sorta bothers me that this has been done something so sacred BUT imitation is the best form of flattery, no?

Anywho I did some research and it seems this book is a parody of sorts...sounds interesting but I'm not reading it.  And it is fictionalized...I guess James Frey taught somebody something.

Some dude named Brian read it and said this:

Drink, Play, F@#k… concerns Bob Sullivan, a thirty-something New York businessman who’s wife of eight years leaves him for another man. In an effort to rid himself of the pain this caused, Bob decides to quit his job and spend a year cavorting around the world. His trip is divided neatly into three, four-month jaunts - to Ireland, where he drinks heavily, to Vegas where he plays everything from craps to golf, and to Thailand where he, well…you can read the title.

Bob establishes up front that his true love in all of this, his metaphor for life if you will, is the roulette wheel. So much so that the book is divided into 38 small chapters - twelve in each country, plus two introductory chapters (the zero and double-zero). I’ve always liked books that are organized this way - you can pick them up, read an entire chapter, and walk away feeling like you accomplished something in less than five minutes. Not that I put this book down too many times…

Before you think I’m gushing just because I got a free copy of the book, I should tell you that my hopes were not high in the beginning. The first twelve chapters (Ireland) were supposed to be about drinking. As it turns out, only eight of them were. The other four were rants about Bob’s ex-wife, intended to explain to us just how hurt and pissed off he was about his wife’s infidelity and general whininess. One of them is even dedicated to clarifying that his wife is not the “evil, crazy bitch” that the other three chapters clearly show her to be. The other eight chapters were indeed about drinking, but that’s really about it. Bob drinks with a redhead named Giovanna. He drinks with his friend Colin. He drinks in exotic locations. And while he’s drinking, well, not much happens. I was beginning to think that the entire book was going to be a plotless platform for this fictional guy to bitch about his cheating ex-wife.

Then Bob went to Vegas. Here, me meets his “guru,” Rick, and together, they have several, honest-to-goodness adventures. There are the requisite “win a lot of money” and “lose a lot of money” stories that you’d expect from a Vegas trip, but also some clever bits on a golf course and even a helicopter ride with a hot waitress in the Grand Canyon (want to know more? Read the book!). By the time Rick sends Bob off to Thailand to get laid, I was thoroughly hooked.

In Thailand, as promised, there is plenty of sex. But along the way, the adventures continue. Bob meets some interesting characters, not all of which turn into sexual conquests, and eventually redeems his Ireland stories with a nice tie-in to the first section that I won’t reveal here.

Oh men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!